FRUIT SALAD'S Take on the NATIONAL COSTUMES...HELLA FUNNY ARTICLE!

Last week Pauly and I toyed around with our first function at the internet doll pageant Miss Unibarse: judging the Preliminary National Costume Competition. Some took our plastic breaths away, others left our fabricated heads spinning.

Miss Nicaragua

Miss Aruba

Basically, while the contestants paraded before us we were asked to give a score from 1 through 10 (10 being best).

As for the ones that stood out, we were dazzled with the sunflower-adorned Miss Chile, Miss Nicaragua’s native crafted headset showed excellent craftsmanship and Pauly’s favorite (read: the one he’d f*ck if he were an action figure) Miss Aruba, who can wear the L.A. Times and still look like a goddess.

Miss Mauritius

Miss Palau

Ooooooon the other prosthetic hand, I noticed a bizarre plant theme going on with some of the “doll-egates” that I just couldn’t fit into the Malibu dream home in my mind.

For example, Miss Mauritius looked like she was mugged by Greenpeace, Miss Palau had enough roughage on her to cleanse her non-existent colon (twice!) and Miss Paraguay seemed like she crashed her dream car into a fruit stand on the way to the pageant.

Miss Paraguay

Miss Philippines

In the meantime, my bias for Miss Philippines came into play (since I myself was manufactured and assembled at that archipelago). When I first saw her two thoughts came to mind: “Wow….Gorgeous!” and “I wonder if she gets HBO?”

At the end of our fictitious day we submitted our votes and the results were tallied. We don’t know who won yet and we didn’t stick around to find out. That Filipino chick needed a ride home and there was no way she was getting that thing into our car.

To listen to Rico and Pauly's sexy and soothing voices, check out their hilarious talk show at Fruit Salad!

Stumble It!